Galentine's Day 2020: Bonds at Barnard
Galentine’s Day may have started as a pseudo-holiday from NBC’s television show Parks and Recreation, but it’s grown into a real annual celebration of friendship. Taking place on February 13th, the day before Valentine’s Day, it’s a spot on the calendar dedicated to showing love and affection to your closest friends and honoring the wonderful people in your life. As someone who loves the sense of community and camaraderie at Barnard, I feel that Galentine’s Day is an especially fitting holiday for our campus and should be celebrated by both current students and alumnae. So we’ve gathered stories of Barnard friendships stretching back almost 70 years to highlight and honor the special bonds that Barnard builds.
Lynn Rosenthal Milton ‘53 and Electra Slonimsky Yourke ‘54
Lynn Rosenthal Minton ‘53 and Electra Slonimsky Yourke ‘54 have been close friends since they met in Hewitt, where Electra and her suitemates would keep Lynn awake till all hours with raucous bridge games. Later on, at Lynn’s off-campus apartment, they’d both pull all-nighters to cram for Professor Robertson’s Shakespeare exams.
Through early marriage, the birth of their children, challenging careers, divorce and Lynn’s remarriage (followed sadly by the death of that husband from Alzheimer’s), and each enduring the tragedy of losing an adult child to cancer, Electra and Lynn remained at each other’s sides for nearly 70 years. Continuing on to the present, Lynn enjoyed Christmas dinner 2019 with Electra and her family. And Electra’s talented daughter Kate Yourke designed a special tour of Dumbo, Williamsburg and fascinating Brooklyn for Lynn and her grandson which Kate led for them a few weeks ago.
Ann Falbo Menkin ‘64, Diane Carravetta Stein ‘64, Diane Droisen Feldman ‘64, Helen Pugatch Duffy ‘64, Leslie Hochberg Shapiro ‘64, and Bonnie Tocher Clause ‘64
Ann Falbo Menkin ‘64, Diane Carravetta Stein ‘64, Diane Droisen Feldman ‘64, Helen Pugatch Duffy ‘64, Leslie Hochberg Shapiro ‘64, and Bonnie Tocher Clause ‘64 met as Barnard first years in 1960. That fact that the four of them would become fast friends was perhaps inevitable, as they were living literally on top of one another in the bunk beds and tiny rooms of the King’s Crown Hotel, which subbed as dorm space while Reid Hall was under construction. Two of them were commuters, and with these friendships forged through shared classes and interests—along with the occasional (and surreptitious) sharing of floor space in their dorm rooms—two plus four became six. They came from a range of family and economic backgrounds, and their eventual majors differed widely, from History to Spanish, Sociology to Zoology. But from the get-go through the next four years, what they had in common was that they absolutely loved, appreciated, and valued Barnard and felt exceedingly privileged to be there. Today, nearly 60 years later, they all feel the same way. While their lives have gone in many different directions, both personally and professionally (an actor, two physicians, a lawyer, a marketing executive, and a nonprofit administrator), Barnard remains a common core.
About ten years ago, at one of Barnard’s annual reunions, the six of them gathered in a dorm room and stayed up till the wee hours, gabbing about life, families, politics, books, movies, and everything under the sun. After that wonderful but exhausting night, they decided that getting together at Barnard every five years or so just didn’t suffice. And thus their “pack,” as Leslie dubbed them, have been organizing their own mini-reunions every June for the last decade, rotating coasts as three of them live in the West and three in the East. They spend four nights and three full days together, and from the morning coffee through sipping a final glass of vino before bedtime, the conversations never cease! Their gatherings are fueled by the intimacy and shared experiences that began at Barnard and that have continued intermittently through the years, as they sent baby pictures in holiday cards, applauded triumphs and family milestones, sympathized about crises and losses, deaths and divorces—kvelling and kvetching, if not in person, via phone and email. And now, in their late 70s, they talk about the life changes that have come with aging, and what each of them is doing in retirement to keep their minds active and our bodies in relatively good shape. (And oh, yes, national and global issues and politics, and how to fend off despair!) As each year passes they treasure their annual get-togethers more and more, as six great friends who’ve known each other for nearly 60 years. They are constants in one another’s lives. This is part of Barnard’s legacy for them, and it is indeed priceless!
Martha Bakos ‘76, Susan Kaplan ‘76, Andrea Katz ‘76, Susan Sommer Klapkin ‘76, Clare Lovelace ‘76, Nancy Matis ‘76, Diane Price ‘76, Naomi Remes ’76, and Toni Vellios ‘76
September 1972 - New Student Orientation weekend. Susan Sommer Klapkin ‘76 was at a Columbia party with Toni Vellios ‘76, a high school friend. It was there Susan and Toni met Nancy Matis ‘76 who was also a commuter. Through classes, high school friends and boyfriends, their group grew and met every day for lunch at McIntosh (the student center prior to Diana Center) either inside paying Pong or on the lawn. The NY Times crossword was always part of lunch. Susan, Nancy, Naomi Remes ’76, Martha Bakos ‘76, Diane Price ‘76, Andrea Katz ‘76, Susan Kaplan ‘76, and Clare Lovelace ‘76 all became family.
Fast forward 47 years - they’ve shared weddings, babies, divorces, moves, illnesses and most importantly laughs. They are closer than ever and make every attempt to get together whenever they can - reunions, Athena Film Festival, Barnard College Club of New York or Alumnae Association of Barnard College events, house tours, and their semi-annual long weekends travel to Williamsburg, The Poconos, Sedona, and upcoming Charleston.
Hester Kaplan ‘81 and Beth Rubenstein ‘81
Hester Kaplan ‘81 and Beth Rubenstein ‘81 were first-year roommates and soon inseparable. One of their very early explorations of the city led them to Bloomingdale's where they bought matching purple velour sweatshirts, which they would often wear on the same day. They soon became known as the two girls who look and dress alike and embraced this with great enthusiasm.
Lauren Moser Counts ‘89, Lonni Goldman ‘89, Karen Sander ‘89, Shana Siegel ‘89, and Edna Tokayer ‘89
It all started fall semester 1985. First there were two roommates in 616 - Edna Tokayer ‘89 from Great Neck and Lauren Moser Counts ‘89 from Baltimore. Pretty soon Karen Sander ‘89, who knew Edna from SAT prep class on Long Island, started hanging around. Then came Shana Siegel ‘89 from New Jersey, who lived across from Karen. They were so excited to be at Barnard and explore all that Columbia University and New York City had to offer. The group of four ended up living together around the campus the next two years - first at Claremont, then Plimpton for our junior year when Lonni Goldman ‘89 completed the circle and they became five besties.
What did they do together? Of course they spent time going to parties and events around campus and the city - Jerry Seinfeld, that hypnotist guy, Suzanne Vega, Penn and Teller, concerts at Furnald, Glee Club, Lincoln Center, and, of course, classes. History of the City of New York, 9 AM Russian classes (ugh), pre-med, pre-law, all of that. But mostly they remember hanging around together, cooking and eating and talking till the wee hours. Ice cream runs to UFM. Laughing. Crying. They may have had to call CAVA once or twice…
What they remember the most is the feeling of being together at that time of their lives, becoming the women they are now. They began their senior year the same year "Centennial Hall" - now Sulzberger Hall - was set to open. They dared to hope there would be a spot for the 5 of them their senior year. Their names were #1 on the housing list and they picked the 16th floor with a view of downtown.
Now they live scattered across the country in 5 different states - California, Florida, New York, New Jersey, and Maryland. They see each other as often as they can, usually in small groups and occasionally all together. Some of the group made it to the 30th reunion in May 2019 and slept in Sulzberger again for the first time since they graduated in 1989. They’ve been there for each other through the years, for the celebrations, the milestones, and all the sad times, too. To them, it's been the biggest gift to have each other as they celebrate their 50s and beyond.
Kristen Krauss ‘93, Sun Min ‘93, and Catherine Puranananda ‘93
Kristen Krauss ‘93, Catherine Puranananda ‘93, and Sun Min ‘93 all met during NSOP 1989 and are still best friends. Coming from very different backgrounds - Catherine attended high school in Hong Kong, Kristen in Delaware, and Sun was a Korean immigrant from Seattle - Barnard brought them together for what has become lifetime friendships. Sun says that she thanks Barnard every day for bringing them together and she could not be prouder of being part of this group of distinguished women. From the moment they stepped onto the Barnard campus, they were transformed. Because of Barnard, Sun sees the world through the prism of feminism and social justice (and has the best friends a girl could ever want).
Shira Abraham GS/JTS ‘06, Rena Abrams BC/JTS ‘05, Olivia Harris ‘05, Rachel Kaplowitz GS/JTS ‘05, Andre Olitzky ‘05, Noa Rabinowitz ‘05, Leigh Waterman GS/JTS ‘05, Aliza Weinstock BC/JTS ’05, and Jessica Yudewitz ‘05
Last year, a group of Barnard and Columbia University women who have been friends since their first year, got together in NYC for their own mini-reunion. Andre Olitzky ‘05, Jessica Yudewitz ‘05, Rena Abrams BC/JTS ‘05, Noa Rabinowitz ‘05, Aliza Weinstock BC/JTS ’05, Olivia Harris ‘05, Rachel Kaplowitz GS/JTS ‘05, Shira Abraham GS/JTS ‘06, and Leigh Waterman GS/JTS ‘05, graduated in 2005 and have been through moves, job transitions, marriages and divorce, births and loss, and they have stayed close throughout! A few of them even live in the same town in NJ now!
Gauri Saxena ‘06 and Elana Slobodien ‘06
Gauri Saxena ‘06 and Elana Slobodien ‘06 were each in incompatible roommate situations during the fall semester of their first year, making for a very trying start to their journeys to their dream school. For the second semester, ResLife randomly assigned Gauri and Elana to room together, and despite some awkward email communication during winter break, they immediately became the closest Barnard duo the minute they met in January. Elana and Gauri lived together for every single semester that followed. Their graduation lunch in May 2006 was a joint feast between Elana's Jewish East Coast family and Gauri's Indian global family! Their daily communication has spanned countries and continents, ever since their first days living together - email, AIM, g-chat, text, Facetime, and the good old fashioned phone call. When Elana moved to Brazil, Gauri made a visit and adventured alongside her. When Gauri got married in India, Elana flew to Delhi with her 7-year-old son for just a handful of days to be by her side. Gauri is on Elana's family chat to get daily (sometimes hourly!) updates on Elana's kids and general family gossip (and updates on her sister Sarah's kids - Sarah is a Barnard alumna too!). Elana has visited Gauri's extended family (without Gauri) in Singapore, India, Minnesota, and beyond while on business trips. It's a true blue Barnard love story, and they couldn't be more grateful to their beloved alma mater for bringing them together!
Nadya Bair (Strizhevskaya) '06 and Anthe Maria Bova (Vorkas) '06
Anthe Maria Bova (Vorkas) '06 and Nadya Bair (Strizhevskaya) '06 became inseparable from their first semester at Barnard, when they met in a pre-calculus class and discovered they lived down the hall from each other and had both grown up in immigrant families in Queens, NY. While at Barnard, they were hallmates for 2 years and roommates for the second two, supporting each other in life and school as they majored in political science and human rights (Anthe) and Russian Regional Studies (Nadya). Their academic and political interests often intersected. Not only did they write their senior theses side by side at Butler Library, but they organized a symposium on human rights abuses in the then-ongoing war in Chechnya. Since graduating, theirs has been the closest of long-distance best-friendships, as life and work took Nadya to Moscow, then LA, and now Miami while Anthe pursued a career in law in NYC. Today, Anthe is General Counsel and Director of Pro Bono Programs at the New York County Lawyers Association. Nadya, who received her Ph.D. in Art History from USC in 2016, is looking forward to the release of her first book with University of California Press (guess who negotiated the contract) and teaches at the University of Miami. In 2018, both welcomed daughters, Philoxenia (Nia) Bova and Chaya Miriam Bair, BC '40. From dedicated students to established professionals, spouses, and now mothers, Anthe and Nadya made and continue to make that journey together.
Sandra Berkowitz ‘10, Miriam Manber ‘10, Rachel Nadkarni ‘10, Naomi Schachner ’10, and Sarah Schuldenfrei ‘10
Barnard by the numbers! These are just some of the things the Barnard friendship of Miriam Manber ‘10, Rachel Nadkarni ‘10, Sandra Berkowitz ‘10, Naomi Schachner ’10, and Sarah Schuldenfrei ‘10 has celebrated, supported, and endured since they graduated in 2010:
5: roommates/best friends/sisters
4: weddings, graduate degrees
3: baby girls (future Barnard alumnae?)
2: stints abroad by one of our crew
1: divorce, successful small bakery business, an international award given to the future leaders of tomorrow, death of a parent, appearance on Jeopardy!, and a group text thread that keeps us going on a daily basis.
Allison Foilb ‘11, Jill Shackner Goodwin ‘11, Patina Lui ‘11, Abigail Pines ‘11, and Emily Wallen ‘11
Jill Shackner Goodwin ‘11, Allison Foilb ‘11, Emily Wallen ‘11, Patina Lui ‘11, and Abigail Pines ‘11 all met throughout the course of their first year at Barnard and have remained close friends ever since! Jill, Allison, Patina, and Abigail are all bridesmaids in Emily's upcoming wedding in October 2020.
Emily Arsen ‘13, Natalie Kaplan ‘13, Allison Poirier ‘13, Hannah Rubashkin ‘13, Divya Subramanian ‘13, and Kate Welsh ‘13
Six and a half years after graduation, Divya Subramanian ‘13, Natalie Kaplan ‘13, Allison Poirier ‘13, Emily Arsen ‘13, Kate Welsh ‘13, Hannah Rubashkin ‘13, who once lived together in apt 10F of the 600 building, are still as tight as ever. Each year they celebrate their fab friendship by picking a “secret Cupid” and sending Galentine’s gifts. They are so proud of one another, celebrating professional and personal accomplishments with great fanfare. All agree that our friendship, and the feminist spirit they nourished at Barnard, carry them to great heights.
Rachel Karpf ‘15 and Jenny Prahl ‘15
Jenny Prahl ‘15 and Rachel Karpf ‘15 met during their first semester at Barnard. Despite all the friends they had in common, they didn't end up becoming close until their junior year, when by chance Rachel moved into Jenny's apartment to take the spot of a suite-mate who was graduating early. After that, it was simply bashert. They were roommates the following semester, fall of senior year. Living together was incredibly sweet, and they would spend hours laughing, talking, and singing.
After they graduated in 2015, both continued living in NYC. Rachel was in Harlem, Jenny was in Washington Heights. Much of that year they spent talking about how much they wanted to live together again. The next year Rachel and Jenny did just that, ultimately living together in Washington Heights for two blissful years, cooking and hosting many meals together with the new friends made along the way.
Currently, Jenny and Rachel live around a thousand miles apart, though they speak on the phone multiple times a week. In a few months, they will both be moving from where they've been grounded the last two years. Each is separately relocating across the country to places where, happily, the distance between them is far more manageable. Jenny and Rachel will be each other's chosen family while so far from their own, spending holidays and special occasions together, and getting up to their classic shenanigans.
Who knows, maybe Jenny's dream will come true where they'll somehow become their own version of Grace and Frankie and live together once again. Rachel is just excited to have someone with whom to commiserate about the dearth of good bagels on the West Coast.
Sarah Caputo ‘15 and Zoe Tippl ‘15
Zoe Tippl ‘15 and Sarah Caputo ‘15 met their senior year and have been inseparable ever since! Over the past 5+ years, they've shared millions of laughs and tears, been roommates in two different apartments, and traveled to three different continents together! “I'm so lucky to have a best friend like Zoe and I'm so thankful to Barnard for facilitating such a fruitful and pleasurable friendship,” Sarah remarked.
Sean Laracy ‘16, Betsey Rafeld ‘15, and Leah Sodowick ‘16
Betsey Rafeld ‘15, Sean Laracy ‘16, and Leah Sodowick ‘16 met during orientation their first year and became close friends quite quickly. They all lived on the same floor: Betsey and Sean shared a small room in Brooks Hall and Leah lived down the Hall in Sulzberger. The three of them were very connected and lived together throughout their time at Barnard. They spent time studying together in the library, sharing meals, exploring the city, and talking about everything and nothing. After graduation, their bond continued to grow despite life changes and moves. Betsey and Leah moved to San Francisco, California, after graduation and Sean continued to live in New York. On September 1st, 2018, Betsey got married and Leah and Sean were bridesmaids in the wedding! This year Sean started nursing school and Leah is currently applying to graduate school for clinical psychology. The three of them support each other through it all and believe that Barnard truly fostered and nourished their friendship.
Isabel de Katona ‘19, Emily Reed '19, Allison Yoo '19, and Jen Zhang '19
Isabel de Katona ‘19, Jen Zhang '19, Allison Yoo '19, and Emily Reed '19 were randomly assigned to a Brooks Quad their first year and ended up living together all four years. Following graduation they split into pairs, Emily and Isabel living together, and Jen and Allison living together, and they get a "Quad Squad" brunch or dinner about once a month. Isabel said that they are more than her college roommates; they are also some of her best friends, family, and inspirations. Isabel’s four years at Barnard, and life post-graduation were, and are, shaped by these women.
Photos courtesy of alumnae and Barnard Digital Archives