Maintaining Virtual Friendships: Ellie's Story

Getting sent home by Covid was hard enough on its own, but being a first-year student presented an additional layer of challenges. With only having five months on campus, all the friendships I made were in constant danger of sliding from something that once felt so present into a camp-like “see you again next summer” type of relationship. After all, I have spent more time back at home than I ever have at Barnard. Trying to maintain cross-country and even international relationships without knowing the next time we will see each other takes the task of maintaining friendships even more difficult. Luckily, I’m not alone in this struggle; everyone else is facing the exact same challenges. These are some ways my friends and I have made the best of our virtual relationships:

1. Virtual Milstein 

One part of Barnard student life that I am now realizing I took for granted is having near 24 hour library access. While staying up late to finish an assignment is never fun, having a friend to sit by your side makes the experience much more bearable. To recreate this environment, my friends and I created “Virtual Milstein”, which is essentially a quiet Zoom call where everyone works independently. Although it might be 10pm and I’m sitting alone writing an essay in my kitchen, being able to see my friend’s faces up in the right hand corner of the screen makes me feel less lonely. For a heightened effect, we all switch our backgrounds to pictures of Milstein. 

2. Among Us (and other collaborative games)

Among Us is a great game to play with friends because the only equipment necessary is an internet connection and a phone. The goal is to figure out who is the “Imposter” before they kill the other players. It’s a bit like the camp game Mafia, and just as fun in a virtual setting. More computer-friendly games that I like are scribbl.io with custom lists and Poptropica. Sometimes it feels like there isn’t much to talk about some days over Zoom, and online games present a fun alternative way to spend quality time with friends.

3. Netflix Party

The best tool for an online movie night. Netflix Party (now called Teleparty) is a way to synchronously watch movies and TV shows across streaming platforms. There’s even a chat bar encouraging commentary as the movie plays. Two of my friends know sign language, so we decided to Netflix Party “Deaf U” once it came out. I’ve also had movie nights for Snowpiercer, the Social Dilemma, and the Half of It, which were all very fun experiences. Watching shows and movies together also gives my friends something new to talk about.

4. Regularly scheduled hangouts 

My board meetings for clubs have now become highlights of the week. What used to be a slightly arduous hour of going over purchasing forms and coordinating events has now turned into a fun social event. Being able to see the same people on a regular basis and check in with each other has been instrumental to my mental health. While we do talk about the nitty gritty aspects of club management, there is still plenty of room for fun and laughter in between. Clubs might seem pointless to join while studying remotely, but I would argue precisely the opposite; now, more than ever is it necessary to have a routine time to socialize with friends.